Lemon Juice and Papercuts
by Tehkar
Summary: A fifteen year old Gemini Stevens is transferred to the prestigious Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unfortunately, her first year does not start out the way she planned. What happens when she learns she's not as perfect as she thought she was?


(**A/N**: Alrighty. This is my first published story ever. I apologize if it's no good, but I've had it swimming around in my head for awhile and it was demanding to be written. Being a great lover of sporking fanfictions and giggling childishly about Mary Sues, I decided to try my hand at a sort of parody of them. It didn't work out quite the way I planned here, but I think I can work with it. Basically, this girl has a lot of Sue qualities - strange name, beauty, crying every time something goes wrong, thinking they're amazing, and having the hots for a major character. Only with her, I decided to take these things and mess them up a bit. She's beautiful, but this doesn't distract anyone from her foul attitude. She has these warped opinions of herself - she assumes she knows more than her teachers, that the sun shines out of her ass, etc. Except these things aren't true, she's just very deluded. Anyway, I hope it's alright. It's a pretty short first chapter but I'm tired. P: )

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter & co., Hogwarts, Houses, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling. I own only Gemini and Allen.

**Lemon Juice and Papercuts**

* * *

"Hufflepuff!"

McGonagall stretched a withered hand forward, plucking the Sorting Hat from atop the brunette's curls. As she set it back in its original place an the top of one the Headmaster's bookcases, the young woman stood stock still in the middle of the office. The smug, confident look that had once adorned her face had disappeared. Now there was only shock and a painful look of dismay.

"P-professor..." The witch whimpered from behind her, her eyes wide. When she spoke again, her voice was harder, firm, "This can't be right."

The elder Professor's mouth tugged into a frown as she turned to face the girl, "No, no, I assure you the Sorting Hat is quite good at its job. Now, Miss Stevens, you should be getting on to the fea-"

"_NO!_" She cried, tears threatening to spill down her lovely tanned cheeks, "This is wrong. I-I should be in Gryffindor! Hufflepuff is NOT my House." Practically snarling now, the tears finally overflowed, trickling down to her chin.

Professor McGonagall stared at the girl, shocked to say the very least. She had seen students disappointed in their House before, but never had one thrown such a childish temper tantrum, or been so determined that their own opinions of themselves were more correct than an unbiased opinion from a hat. As Minerva opened her mouth to speak, feeling her own temper flare at this girl's ridiculous behavior, she began speaking again.

Her face pink and her eyes puffy, she said between soft sobs, "I'm just as brave as any Gryffindor... braver! I-I... Hufflepuff is the worst House!" She was beginning to wail now, and it was severely grating on the Transfiguration teacher's nerves.

"That is _enough_!" Her shrill voice sounded throughout the room, furious and digusted. "You are acting like a complete child, and certainly not someone I would ever want in my house. I'm sorry," She said the words without a trace of sincerity, "But this is the House that you most belong in, and you will accept it without further complaint or you will have no House at all."

The brunette clamped her mouth shut, her body quivering as she attempted to suppress the sudden onset of hiccups. Her large dark eyes lowered, unable to look at McGonagall any longer, and her face felt extremely hot. The Professor strode forward, seized her by her upper arm, and escorted her without another word out of the Headmaster's office. The two walked briskly toward the Great Hall, Miss Stevens sniffling pathetically all the way down the corridor. McGonagall ignored her with ease. When they approached the towering oak doors, she halted, gazing around into the room, surveying the students as they spoke gleefully with one another.

After a moment of silence, she spoke with a much softer tone. "There's your table. You will find out that Hufflepuffs are very great people. There is nothing shameful about your House. They are hardworking, friendly, loyal... all wonderful qualities."

Stevens rolled her eyes, face still flaming. Before the professor could continue speaking, she walked toward the long stretch of wooden table that she had been directed to. It was packed with people clad in black robes, just as all the others were. She paused for only a moment to glance around at them before sinking, defeated, into an empty spot at the end of the bench. She was closest to the door and very thankful for that. The moment Dumbledore declared that they all trot off to bed, she was going to haul ass out of the Great Hall and... well, actually, she was going to sulkily follow a Hufflepuff prefect, she realized. The brunette promptly groaned and rested her head in her arms.

She was content on staying this way until the feast was over, her appetite having disappeared the moment the Sorting Hat had cried the name of her House out in that irritatingly raspy voice. Her moping was not to last long, however, for soon after she heard light footsteps from her side, and the distinct sound of someone taking a seat on the space next to her.

"Hello," she heard a cheery voice say.

For a second she contemplated ignoring her fellow Housemate. When she felt them shift uncomfortably, she gently picked her head up from the comforting embrace of her arms, and stared with obvious irritation. The voice belonged to a young man, perhaps a fifth year like herself. He had dirty blonde hair, murky green eyes, and a dazzling smile. It made her want to punch him.

She answered stiffly, sitting up straight and determinedly looking at the assortment of dinner food rather than his face, "Hello."

This did not seem to perturb him at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite – he now looked all the more upbeat.

"You're new here, right?"

"Obviously."

"I'm Allen Fagan. Are you going to let me know your name, or should I start guessing?" He teased, trying to lighten up the tense mood the girl was creating.

She did not seem amused. "Gemini Stevens."

Finally his smile faltered, but only for a moment, "Oh, that's an interesting name. Does your mum like astrology or something?"

"Listen, kid," Her eyes narrowed and she scowled heavily, "I'm really not in the mood for twenty questions."

Now that Allen had finally gotten a good look at her face, he noticed that the tip of her nose had a redness to it, and her eyes were puffy; obviously this girl had been crying. He felt a surge of concern and it must have shown clearly on his face, for Gemini's now looked even more irate.

"Gosh, are you alright? I can tell you've been crying... are you homesick?" He probed carefully, leaning forward and giving her a sympathetic look. This girl seemed to have a temper and he did not want to set her off, but he had an insatiable curiosity to find out everything.

Unfortunately, this question had apparently crossed an invisible line, and she turned her body away from him in a huff. In her haste, she wound up smacking her knee against a supporting beam of the table. She yelped, clutching her injury and biting her lip. The pain shot up her thigh and her eyes began to water for the second time that day. Allen, surprised by her carelessness and apparently unable to help himself, practically lunged forward to help. Without thinking, he reached beneath the table to touch her knee, as if his hands had some magical healing power. She shrieked in response, sliding backward to escape him. Again Allen reached forward to grab her, this time succeeding and gripping her shoulders before she found herself on her back on the floor of the Great Hall.

Several students and even a teacher or two had glanced up at the commotion, but the new student almost falling off a bench did not seem to hold their interest. Instead, they all simply turned back to their dinners and continued conversing with others.

"Don't tell me... you're accident-prone? We seem to get a lot of those..." He grinned, pulling her a little closer to him on the seat. Gemini was clearly flustered, but shook off his clutches and attempted to look graceful.

She held her chin up a little higher than normal and busied herself by placing small portions of food on her platter. "I'm not... I'm just having a bad day is all. You've yet to make it better," Gemini snapped, leaning her face down closer to her food. Her bangs slipped from behind her ear and she shoved them none too gently back into place.

The blonde boy gave her an encouraging smile, leaning down himself to try to make eye contact, "What's really the matter then? Come on, I'm curious."

"None of your business."

"Of course it is! Come on, we're Housemates... we're supposed to have a bond or something."

Gemini Stevens sat up then, though Allen stayed with his head tilted down, gazing up at her with such a friendly look that she almost felt bad for her assumption that Hufflepuffs were no good losers. Almost.

"My problem is that I've been sorted into Hufflepuff," Her voice lowered to a whisper, her cheeks reddening again, "I'm not supposed to be in Hufflepuff... I'm supposed to be a Gryffindor."

"What's so bad about being a Hufflepuff?"

She spluttered, staring at him as if he had lost his mind, "_Everything!_ It's the worst House! You guys never win anything, and nobody ever goes on to do anything special, and... and..." The brunette was fuming now, her hands balled into fists. Allen looked offended.

"That's not true!" He finally seemed to be showing an emotion other than happiness or concern, "What about Cedric Diggory, hm? If I remember correctly, he was chosen as a Triwizard Champion! He made it to the end, right to the end with Potter himself!"

"Then he died, didn't he?"

The boy stared at her in complete shock. Never before had he met someone so incomprehensibly rude, and he had spoken to Draco Malfoy once before. This girl had complete disregard for others' feelings, concerned only if she herself was happy. Allen attempted to speak, but no words formed. He gaped, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he racked his brain for a response. He knew he must have greatly resembled a fish without water.

Finally, he seemed able to work his anger into a sentence, and spoke in a harsh whisper, "You think just because you're pretty that you can just stomp all over everyone else? It doesn't work like that," His body was shaking with anger, "I... I tried to be nice to you, but you're too concentrated on the fact that you didn't get your way for once. You're right, you don't belong in Hufflepuff. We have traits to be proud of, traits the best kind of people have... you don't deserve even the worst group of Slytherins."

With his rant done, he rose from his seat and moved swiftly down the line of the bench, eager to escape her foul attitude. Gemini blinked repeatedly, her brain moving at a sluggish pace, clearly dumbstruck at having been spoken to like that.

Nobody had ever said anything like that to her before. People usually accepted her commands and temper without batting an eyelash, but this boy had the audacity to whine about her to her face. He was the one who had come over here in the first place! How dare he compare her to any kind of Slytherin... she was a Gryffindor, she believed that with every fibre of her being. She didn't belong with these over sensitive gits, she realized that even more now.

Within an indignant huff, she turned her face back down to her plate but still felt no appetite. In fact, she felt her anger form itself into something akin to nausea and pushed the food away from her. This had not been the first day she had been expecting.

(**A/N**: Such a little bitch, ain't she? Ah well. She'll learn... maybe. Thanks for reading (if you did)! :D Next chapter should be up in a few days I hope!)

(P.S. Just thought I'd say that I have nothing against Hufflepuffs. I have several characters for each House and I use them all equally. (Althought they occasionally bash each other.) I think Hufflepuffs have very great personality traits. I prefer making fun of Slytherins, actually, as I am one myself. ;P)


End file.
